what do girls expect when they wear– …

image credit: pastel pesto stock via deviantART

image credit: pastel pesto stock via deviantART

stop. just stop right there. you weren’t gonna actually ask that question, were you? you weren’t gonna actually ask that what-do-girls-expect-when-they-wear-revealing-clothing question, were you? and you don’t actually believe that obviously-girls-want-attention-that’s-why-they’re-revealing-themselves crap, do you? i mean, do you really think us girls are all liars, that we ‘do it’ [wear so-called revealing clothing, that is] to taunt men? and that us saying ‘it’s comfortable’ is just an excuse? really? seriously? i’m not making this stuff up, check out this site. go ahead. yes people, the rape culture is alive and well.

wow. that sounds pretty fucked up, blaming girls and their clothing choices for the lust of men, for their apparent inability to control their sexual urges. is that what we want to teach our girls? do we want them growing up thinking they’re responsible for the lewd behaviour of some men? and that they’re sluts because of it? because, you know what? i’ve decided that’s not how i want my 15-year-old stepdaughter to grow up. i want her to feel empowered. i want her to feel like it’s her body and she can wear whatever the fuck she wants cuz nobody has the right to ogle her the way a starving man ogles a tender, savoury steak. so, when my (platonic) male best friend comes over, i absolutely refuse to tell her to ‘cover up.’ why? because it’s none of his fucking business what she wears!

i struggle a little with this, because, of course, the urge to protect my stepdaughter exists strongly in me. and i wonder, how much of that feeling emanates from the rape culture philosophy that’s so deeply ingrained in our society, in every one of us? having only raised boys, i’ve never had to ponder these thoughts, and so these feelings are a little foreign to me. but, she’s not made of glass. she’s a young woman. and she deserves our trust as parents. where’s the line that separates responsible parenting from over-the-top power-tripping?  when will we stop seeing our daughters as property to control and manipulate the way we see fit? what message do you want to send your daughter? How about this:

You aren’t dirty and your body is not a problem nor is it a burden. It’s a gift, you are a gift, a beautiful gift.

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About vacantgurl

i sometimes work in my pyjamas, bite ice cream and ride polar bears. okay, maybe not that last thing.

One comment

  1. 🙂 🙂 🙂 great image choice

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